Saturday, July 26, 2014

Can You Believe It?

We've all heard of the term Wives' Tale. It's information that may have been useful at one time, at least in the mind of the person hoping for a solution, but to most of us the Wives' Tales appear to be nothing more than superstitions.

Did you know you need to kill a mole if your baby is having pain teething? Next, you cut off a foot of the mole, tie a string around the foot and then tie it around the baby's neck as a necklace. The baby's teeth will pop through the gums without pain.

Hold on a minute. Even back in high school I couldn't dissect a worm in science class how, how the heck am I going to hack up a mole? And really? Not only is this gross, but how about safety? I know when we were kids we rode in the back of station wagons without car seats or seat-belts, but come on, a string around a baby's neck? I'm not even going to get into the whole dead varmint, germs and disease topic.

Dying With Eyes Open:
It was believed if someone died and their eyes remained open, they were looking for someone in their family to take with them to the other side. The British closed the eyes of the dead person and placed a penny on each eye to prevent them from opening them again.

All I can say is CREEPY.

Suffering from an ailment?
Go to a random funeral. It was believed the hands of a dead person cures sickness. Take the hands of a deceased person that is the opposite sex of you and place their hands on yourself. Next you should lie down in a bed running north to south.

Ah, I think there is a term for this sort of thing and it's perverted.

Bed Wetting:
Kill and skin a big barn rat as you would a squirrel. STOP RIGHT THERE. I have not and never would kill and skin a squirrel. Next cut up the rat, flour and fry as you would chicken. Here we go, everything tastes like chicken. Then, feed the rat to the victim. Victim is right. They will never wet the bed again.

You'll never know if they ever wet the bed again because if you feed your child a rat, I can guarantee social services and a jail cell will be involved. After that bit of information I need a wives' tale to cure my projectile puking because that's what I would be doing if I was skinning, frying and feeding rats to my children.

How about chocolate for premenstrual cramps?
Some women swear they crave chocolate when they have symptoms of PMS and it is because they are low in magnesium. Scientists dismiss this claim because green leafy vegetables also contain magnesium and no one is killing their co-workers to reach the green leafy vegetables. The ring of truth with this wives' tale is that chocolate does contain mood-boosting chemicals and that could be why some women crave it.

Wasn't that nice how I shared the chocolate wives' tale to help you get the the rat feeding wives' tale out of your head? So now, please feel free to share a wives' tale you've heard. Also, I'd love it if you'd take the time to check out my website. Warning, the characters in my novels are sarcastic too. 


Julie Eberhart Painter said...

Chocolate cures everything. Writers know that.

The necrophilia reference was interesting: Pop in for a cool one.

My favorite is to walk around the bridge table to improve your luck at cards. Duh. You can see into everyone's hand.

Liz Fountain said...

Hilarious. (My bed does run north to south. That's all I'm admitting.)


Victoria Roder said...

I'm sure there must be a wives' tale about coffee if there is one for chocolate.

Unknown said...

I've skinned a squirrel, and ate it, and I promise ya, taste nothing like chicken.

Michael Davis (
Author of the Year (2008 and 2009)
Award of Excellence (2012)

Meg Amor said...

Aloha Victoria. :-)

What a fun blog. And how interesting. You came up with some beauty old wives talrs. I was expecting something er... More tame. Lol.

The chocolate one has always interested me as I'm not a choccie fan. But before my period I do someone's eat it. Mum taught us that the body will ask for what it needs in the form of cravings. I think the reason pregnant women don't get the peculiar cravings they used I get is because they start taking vitamins andi minerals now.

In earlier times they might crave something that have them some zincs, magnesium or vit a the body will source out food tha ha the thing it needs. Sometimes when I crave potato chips - it's the salt I'm after.

With the chocolate we were told in natural med school that it kick starts our periods. But I actually wonder if it's because we're about to lose some iron in our bodies. Chocolate is actually somewhat high in iron. I suspect we're craving iron. And women are often low in iron. So if you've just scarfed down a whole bar of it an feel sick. Maybe invest some in some iron tablets. I use the choccie craving to know I need iron now. It usually pops up when I've been slack taking my vitamins and minerals. :-).

Anyway fascinating blog!! Thanks.

Aloha Meg. :-)

Nikki said...

Well, there's always the one about coffee stunting your growth. I never craved anything but full anesthesia with my periods, but with migraines, I often craved pretzels and chocolate. Turns out blood chemistry gets a bit wacko during a migraine, and you need salt and carbs (hence pretzels) and caffeine (the choc, or strong tea).
As for an old wives' tale, years ago a neighbor insisted that passing a child three times around a table leg would reduce fever, and binding a slice of potato to a wart for seven days would remove the wart. Neither worked.

Victoria Roder said...

Thanks for sharing everyone. It's fun to here from each of you.

Mark said...

I'm always looking for good advice on etiquette, Vicki. So, chocolate cleanses one's palate after rat (kinda like sorbet after pâté de foie gras)?