I’ve found that writers tend to fall into two camps when it
comes to dialog. There are those (and I’m one of these)who would gleefully
write dialog all the live long day. I think it has to do with the voices in our
heads, but I’m speculating. And there are those who would rather have their
teeth removed with rusty pliers than write dialog. I think this is because they
suffer from dialog phobia, a fear of not being able to write good dialog. If
you fall into the later group, here are a few handy tips for making your character’s
conversations shine.

“He is in the
house” sounds less natural than “He’s
in the house.”
We tend to speak in
fragments, too.
“Where is he?”
“He’s in the house.”
Doesn't flow quite as well as
“Where is he?”
“In the house.”
But here’s the secret, dialog isn’t real speech. Dialog has a purpose, it is contrived to meet
that purpose. It isn’t what people actually say.
Consider this conversation—
“Hi there, how have you been?”
“Fine, how was your weekend?”
“ I did a lot of yard work.
Trimmed back the lilac bushes.”
“Those things grow like weeds, don’t they?”
It sounds real, doesn’t it? Chances are, you’ve had a
conversation like this one. Yet if you
write a book filled with dialog like this, you’ll put your reader to sleep
before they reach chapter two. That’s assuming they don’t close the book after a
few pages and put it down forever.
Good dialog is more than conversation. Good dialog moves a scene forward, gives
insight into a character, shows relationships, or creates suspense. The simple
passage above doesn’t do any of those things.
Let’s try again--
“How was your
weekend?”
“Fine. Why wouldn’t it be?”
The “why wouldn’t I be?” creates a little bit of tension and
tells us something of the relationship between the characters.
We can take this a few steps further
“How was your weekend?”
“Fine. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Charlie…”
“What is it you want to hear, Sue? How I trimmed back the
lilac bushes? You know, the ones you planted before you decided you didn’t want
to live with me anymore?”
Uncomfortable? Good. You can begin to see the relationship between
these two. It’s not pretty.
The scene above, though, suffers from talking head
syndrome. It needs a few beats so
readers can see what’s going on as well as hear it.
Charlie was about the last person she wanted to see, but
there he was, right in front of her in line at Starbucks. She could duck out, but no—he’d seen her.
Might as well make the best of it. “How was your weekend?”
The frown he’d been working on turned futher south. “Fine.
Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Charlie…” God, the last thing she needed was a scene.
“What is it you want to hear, Sue? How I trimmed back the
lilac bushes? You know, the ones you planted before you decided you didn’t want
to live with me anymore?” He smiled at her, the way you smile at someone you’d
just as soon shoot.
How in the world had it come to this? The two of them
standing there like gunslingers ready to draw. “So great to see you again,” she said under
her breath, before turning on her heel and walking out the door.
How is your dialog? Here’s a quick check you can do to make
sure it’s doing its job:
Does it start or heighten conflict?
Does it create tension?
Does it make the reader curious?
Does it tell something about the character or about the relationship between characters?
Does it turn or change the events of the story?
You should be able to answer yes to at least one of these.
'til next time
Ute
5 comments:
Exactly right, and excellent , progressive examples.
Thanks Julie!
"He smiled at her the way you smile at someone you'd just as soon shoot."
Now that is a thing of beauty, Ute!
Liz
Beautiful lesson, Ute!
Noticed many wannabee authors shy away from dialogue and lean upon narrative to advance the story. I prefer dialogue myself.
Michael Davis (Davisstories.com)
Author of the Year (2008 and 2009)
Award of Excellence (2012)
Post a Comment