Saturday, November 16, 2013

Lucy and Ethal Take An Exercise Class

I recently hit a major milestone in the scheme of birthdays. I thought I would do something healthy and join an exercise class. As an author, I spend countless hours sitting at a computer and our bodies where not designed for sitting, we are hunters and gatherers.  

As I shuffled into class, I hoped I could fade into the background and position myself in the back row. That’s a little hard to do when there are only five students. Let me date myself, when I belonged to a gym, everyone wore leotards, tights and head and wrist bands. I was pretty confident that wasn’t the style anymore and I wore my baggy yoga pants and my husbands 2X long sleeve t-shirt. Everyone else had fitted pants and cute fitted tops. So class hasn’t even started and I was stuck in the middle of the group, the oldest person attending and dressed like a bag lady. I wondered if they’d mistake me for the cleaning lady.

The class was listed as a toning class. I envisioned lying on the floor and doing a few leg lifts and some crunches. Ah, no. How about walking lunges, a million squats, and ab work from hell. Every time I was certain my leg would cramp up and fall off, positive that we must be on the last repetition, the instructor would yell in a cheery voice. “Only 20 more, count them down!”

If you’re old enough, picture Lucy and Ethel in exercise class and that’s how I’m sure I looked. I can hardly walk and chew gum at the same time, but the drill sergeant made us jump around while holding hand held weights. Since I chose to wear my husband’s over-sized shirt, my dumbbell got stuck in the end of the sleeve. I struggled and finally jerked the weight free, almost knocking myself in the head with the end of the dumbbell.

I did survive my first toning class, but I was sore for two days, both my muscles and my pocket book. I’d say I ran out, but I wasn’t capable of that, I could hardly shuffle as my muscles screamed in pain. I went to the store and bought exercise clothes, so that next week, the instructor doesn’t ask me to put the supplies away and vacuum the room again.           

Please stop at Victoria Roder's website.  


Anonymous said...

Nicely painted picture, Vicki! Thanks for the giggle this morning. Happy Birthday to you again. I hope you celebrated in grand style.

Valerie J Patterson

Mark said...

Heh heh heh...but I shouldn't laugh. In an hour, I'm taking a hike -- with a lot of elevation change -- accompanied by a woman eighteen years my junior. So I reckon I'll be Fred Mertz by this afternoon.

Funny post, Vicki.

tealady said...

I can picture it well,and your right you can't walk and chew gum at the same time.Wonderfully funny

Victoria Roder said...

Thanks for stopping in and I'm hoping a few other people feel as awkward as I always do!

Linda Rettstatt said...

I joined a gym once.

That's all. No more story to it. I joined. I applaud your courage. Love the way you made this so visible with words.

Allison Knight said...

I'm still giggling. I can just see it. Now, take a hot bath, pour yourself a glass of wine and grab that chocolate bar. Well, you have earned it. (grinning)

Nikki said...

Great visuals, Vicki, and I empathize completely.
But boy, was that instructor negligent! Any time a new student comes into class, the teacher should evaluate her fitness and ease her into the workout. No way you should be expected to keep up. You should leave class pleasantly tired, not shuffling in agony.

Julie Eberhart Painter said...

Visual and relatable. I'm of the Lucy era and can see it AND feel it.