Thursday, June 27, 2013

Blame the Writers!

I used to have a contest with one of my son-in-laws (sons-in law?). We would see who could rent the worst move. It was always good for a laugh, and some of them were not as bad as advertised. We enjoyed Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, but not the Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes (or was it the Return of?) Eventually this contest drifted over to the family get-together on Christmas day, where we would gather after a large meal to watch some epic failure. I think the worst movie so far has been: Santa Claus vs the Martians. Cannibal the Musical is not even in the same category.

What this is leading up to is my love of grade B movies. A title will catch my eye and I will get a beer and some popcorn and settle in. I find that being a writer has changed how I watch these, and may even have ruined the experience. I will sit through the thing, then grumble to my wife that if they had only hired a writer, it could have been so much better. You see a film with decent production values, and money spent on special effects. You even recognize the actors! But the plot... obviously no one who could write was ever attached to the production. You could drive a tractor trailer through the holes in the plot, never mind the story. I have decided the proud producers of these things must allow their precious five year old children to handle the scripts. Unfortunately, it is obvious they haven’t graduated from kindergarten yet.

This anguish has now reached the point where it is affecting my enjoyment of major television shows. As the show closes, my wife and I will stare at each other and she will say, "What was that?" The only thing I can offer up is, "Blame the Writers." I notice I am saying this more often. Has no one read the script through to the end? Are all the good writers sticking to novels and short stories? What has been your experience?


The Dark Lady - February 2012
Housetrap - December 2012
Knight’s Bridge - March 2013
The Queen’s Pawn - April 2013
Dial M for Mudder - July 2013
House on Hollow Hill - Sept 2013


Big Mike said...

Don't have to go to just B movies. So many today are not new releases but just rehash of old themes. Consider King Kong as but one example. In the last fifty years, six re-makes have hit the screen on the classic.

Not sure why Holly world is afraid to venture out of the box, but they are.

Michael Davis (
Author of the Year (2008 and 2009)
Award of Excellence (2012)

joyce said...

'B' movies are a hoot--for about fifteen minutes. Amazon Women on the Moon managed to keep me in my seat for the duration of the film. Seems the noisier and bigger the movie, the duller it plays.

Julie Eberhart Painter said...

I've never liked B movies, but I agree that one wonders what the writers are writing.

There is money in screen writing, even in treatment writing, so it must be the gang of writers and the kids on the cutting room floor.

Victoria Roder said...

So many good scripts never get looked at and I agree they rehash movies over and over.