Monday, November 29, 2010

Blogging Ahead For Christmas

The first of December
I have to remember
To blog for Champagne
On that day for Jane.
But also that day, sigh,
I get the needle in my eye.
So I'll write my words now
Hoping I'll remember how
To have it post on the first
And hope I'm not cursed.
Many of you know I havr wet macular degeneration in both eyes, but am lucky enough to profit by a new treatment with Avastin which allows me to keep my vision. Researchers are working at finding other drugs for this purposr, and some do look promising, but for now Avastin is it. At first I was taken aback by discovering the only way it could be given was by the retinal specialist injecting the Avastin behing my retina with a needle and syringe. But the first time I had it done, the nurse putting the numbing drops in my eye announce she was "the best number in the country" and all I'd feel was pressure. That turned out to be true.
So now, while I can't sat I enjoy the trearment, I'm confident it's not going to hurt and so don't get all tense about it. Sounds much worse thana it actually is. My eye (they never do both at once) is back to normal by the next morning. But the day it's done i can't read or use the computer because they dilate the other eye to as well to see how it's doing.
I always go on a Wednesday and it's a 68 mile trip one way. hence the need to blog ahead and see if i can figure out how to have it post on the right day.
My blog's about the Christmas season and incidents I remember from my childhood. Like the first time I wore an angel costume at Midnight Mass and we all got to carry a lighted candle while we marched down the ailses with our cancdles singing Silent Night, I must have been about seven, and we waited in a room in the church for this ceremony that was outside the altar and where the people were. Suddenly I realized I had to go to the bathroom really bad. The old church didn't have any public toilets. There might have been one for the priest to use somewhere, but, if so, we didn't know where it was. Finally, I took off my wings, white robe and halo, got into my winter gear hurried out a side door and raced a block to my house to use our toilet, terrified I wouldn't get back in time to do the angel walk. But I did. Funny thing is I don't remember the actual performance at all, but that part is very clear.
Our Christmas tree was usually a spruce from the woods around us, but sometimes a balsam. My dad usually bought it for fifty cents from some neighborhood kid who'd cut some himself and was lugging them around in a wagon from door to door. Spruce made a thicker, more attractive tree, but balsam had a wonderful scent even if it sometimes resembled what later became the "Charley Brown Christmas tree."
M paternal grandmother lived with us and made popcorn to string on the tree. We strung cranberries, too. I remember admiring the decorated tree the year I was eight, then puckering up and crying. Everne wanted to know why, but I never told them. The truth was I suddenly realized that sometime I wouldn't be able to either help decorate or admire a Christmas tree because I'd be dead. This was the first time I consciously realized that everyone dies sometime, even me.
Because I had a birthday two days after Christmas, only my parents ever gave me two separate gifts on two separate days. Other relatives always labeled my gift Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday.
I remember these times with nostalgia. But now the Viking from my past always remembers Christmas and my birthday are two separate days and two separate gifts. How lucky I was he found me again after so many years apart. A real gift of the heart.


Big Mike said...

Ever time you mention "needle in my eye", I quiver and I personally went through a lot during cancer treatments. Your one strong cookie, girl.

Michael Davis (
Author of the year (2008 & 2009)

Julie Eberhart Painter said...

Jane, I can truly identify with your Christmas problem of getting all ready and needing to go to the bathroom. I'd bet the out house was the reason you ran home. Indoor plumbing is one of the great post war perks.

Very glad that you are getting results from your eye treatments. Another perk of the modern world.

Keep on keeping on.